Monday, May 26, 2008

If you've ever called for a point of order in church...

Christine and I invented a new comedy series this week that is sure to have evangelicals rolling in the aisles soon - and not from the Holy Ghost. With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy, let us suggest a few ways to know if you're a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever done anything "in view of a call", you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever been upset about changing the name from "potluck" to "covered dish", you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If your church posts attendance on a big wooden board, you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've never sung a third verse, you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever asked God to bless "the gift and the giver", "this food and the hands that prepared it," or "this food to the nourishment of our bodies and our bodies to your service", you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever moved your letter, you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever voted in church, you might be a Southern Baptist.
  • If you've ever checked a box verifying that you prayed, memorized scripture or brought your Bible to church, you might be a Southern Baptist.
These are the ones I can remember but there have got to be more. So jump in everyone! Let's get the "you might be a Southern Baptist" comedy series up and flying.