Faith & Fandom

I want so much to fix Tiger Woods and Jennifer Knapp, don't you? I have been a fan of both. Have seen both of them peform live. Loved both shows. I've bought their records and the merchandise. Tried to swing like one and play guitar like the other. I'm a fan. And now I'm facing what every fan has to face eventually - the object of our fandom is broken. Tiger is not a Jedi. Jennifer is not an angel. They struggle. They're broken.

It's hard to have anything new to say about either case. I can't condemn either for their brokenness, nor can I dismiss their sin as unimportant. Like Professor Barry Jones says, "Sin is a big deal to God." The tricky part is how to respond as a fan.

First, let me say I think it would actually be easier to respond to them if I were a friend and not a fan. At least it would be easier to know how to respond. Carrying through would be tougher. How would you respond if a friend of yours confessed sexual sin to you? Before you answer, remember you've been there. You've had sin to confess before. Have you ever trusted a brother or sister with it? Have you trusted the whole world with it?

I think it would be easier to respond to Tiger or Jennifer if I was in community with them. I'd give them a hug. I'd cry with them. And I would try to do the really hard thing of facing the sin with them - of telling them that what they've done does not reflect the heart and character of God. I would hold hands with them and pray and ask God for healing and clarity and redemption. And then we'd meet for breakfast at Corner Bakery every Friday and have to answer the question, "How is God redeeming your sexuality?" I would invest. I would carry burdens with them. That's how we do things in the Church. And actually I think we're pretty good at it. For all the mishandling that makes news (I'm looking at you, Pat Robertson), I know many cases of loving restoration, including my own, that never get reported.

But I am not Tiger's friend, or Jennifer's. So I have to decide how to react from a distance. Do I stand on principle and cheer for bogeys? Burn Kansas? Or do I go buy some tickets to show that I believe in forgiveness?

I don't know. If I'm gut-level honest, I have to confess that I'm skeptical of their repentances. Tiger's seemed forced, and Jennifer doesn't seem to think there's anything to repent of. I have a lot of thoughts about both - about how soon I expect Tiger to start carousing again; about how Jennifer seems misguided in her Christianity Today interview. Those thoughts are actually why I started writing this entry. I have piping hot opinions about their restorations and, in Knapp's case, about defense of the truth. But, it turns out, I can't issue those opinions. At least not with any genuineness. And not to anyone but Tiger and Jennifer.

In fact, I think to do so would be sinful on my part because who am I to judge that? I can't tell you if Tiger is sincere. And I can't tell you if Jennifer is using smoke screens or really struggling to understand scripture. And I would certainly be hurt if someone who doesn't know me decided to start scoring my confessions as if they issued passing grades for contrition. I've got my own plank to worry about and even if I didn't, I wouldn't be qualified to know their hearts. God judges the heart. We have to live with skin and bones. And that - especially the skin part - really seems to mess us up.