I have a different take than many on this cartoon getting passed around the interwebz. I think the cartoon is pretty funny, but I also think it's message is just as misguided as the Disney Princesses it derides. Here's why.
Put simply, it is good and natural and healthy and beautiful for a girl to have this desire to be attractive. I have a six-year-old daughter. She wants to be noticed. When she was two she started dressing up. I didn't teach her that. It's innate. And it doesn't go away no matter how much we praise her for what's inside versus what's outside.
Stasi Eldredge makes this idea abundantly clear in her book Captivating. Women and girls long to be captivating. They want to be noticed. My daughter is terrible at hide-and-seek, not because she doesn't know when I can't see her, but because she doesn't want to be hidden. If I don't find her in the first 10 seconds, she makes herself known. She wants to be found. And she wants the finder to be the object of her affection. She doesn't care so much if the neighbor finds her hunkered behind the shrubs. She wants me to find her.
Now, here's the disclaimer: Has our culture emphasized physical beauty too much? Absolutely. Has our society confined physical beauty to one narrow definition (this color eyes, that shaped body, etc.)? Yes. Is Barbie or Bratz or Disney Princesses giving our daughters unreal expectations of what they should look like? For sure. And do many of our little girls continue to pursue those unhealthy avenues toward getting "noticed" into adulthood? Sadly, yes.
But I contend that there's a reason for that and it's not a Disney conspiracy to make money or steal our daughters' innocence. Disney has made all that money because they found a theme that works. And the theme works because little girls love fairy tales. And little girls love fairy tales because they long to be captivating.
Couldn't we offer the same objection to our own favorite films? Should we complain that Braveheart encourages men to be violent? That Gladiator promotes revenge? That Saving Private Ryan glorifies war? We could, but we'd be missing the point. Those stories don't appeal to men because our culture has trained us so. They appeal to men because they call to something we're born with - something deep and unspoken that tells us we were made for something epic. Something that asks if we have what it takes. Something that makes us long to be brave and strong and offer that strength to a beauty.
I understand that fairy tales are fairy tales. No real girl can look as good as Arial. I mean, c'mon! And no real guy will ever fight a wicked sea witch and defeat her by sheer force of valor and his love for his maiden. It's a fairy tale! But the fairy tale shows us a glimpse of what can be - of the larger story that we can be a part of. Fairy tales, whether they intend to be or not, are visual metaphors for adventures that are available to us all. I can be found brave and strong and offer that strength to my wife, even if our enemy manifests in debt or bitterness rather than sea witches mean stepsisters. And she can be beautiful and captivating even if that doesn't mean fin surgery or 1,000 year naps.
Sure, it would be foolish for us to teach our daughters that blond hair and skinny legs are their highest goals in life. But it's equally foolish to deride fairy tales because they don't look like our day-to-day lives. The solution to this problem is not to disdain fairy tales. It's to offer a better story. It's to teach our little girls that they can be beautiful, no matter what their dress size. It's to teach them to look for men who will offer them strength and sacrifice, not take from them in weakness and selfishness.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think my little princess needs me to rescue her from some dragons in the back yard. Where did I leave that sword...
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